Join me for a bit of escapism, ok?  I just don't feel up to writing about anything relevant to my life tonight.

 

We had Salsaritas for dinner tonight.  We rarely go there, I always feel like I have to make a quick decision, so always get the nachos, then Shawn feels bad because all I got for dinner was a pile of tortilla chips.  However, tonight we needed something quick, and preferably not deep fat fried.  Salsaritas fit the bill.  I was able to zero in quickly on enchiladas, Shawn got his usual: a huge burrito.

 

It was delicious!  The kids loved it, too.  Everything was fresh and flavorful, and tasted healthy (if you know what I mean).

 

The entire dinner for 4 of us was $16 and it was ready to carry out in minutes. 

 

I'm of the "unmotivated" persuasion (read: lazy).  For me to actually get off my duff and write about it, you know it must be good!  LOL

 

YUM!

This afternoon I got a call from Gay, the wonderful man who was in charge of building our new home, Bob-the-Builder, passed away on Friday.  He had lung cancer.

 

I'm bereft.

 

I'm not in the proper mental state to do justice to a eulogy in my blog, and it's probably not the place for it anyways.  My heart is heavy, my eyes glisten with unshead tears. 

 

Colleen has been very concerned with death lately and we don't want to tell her about Bob because we don't want to escalate her fears. 

 

As it has been for many a person at the time of many a passing, I had unfinished business with Bob.  I promised him back in July when we moved in that I would write a letter about our good experience.  His request was not for himself.  He just wanted all of the team members who worked so hard on our home get the kudos they deserved.  I wrote the letter.  I've revised it several time over the past six months, adding to it as circumstances have warranted.  I've come SO CLOSE to sending it so many times.  I am ashamed that I did not send it in.  I will, probably tomorrow, even if I have to hand write it (our printer is on the fritz).  But it is too late for Bob.  He'll never get to read the glowing praise I so carefully worded in his honor.  He'll never know that I did eventually keep my promise.

 

He called about a week and a half to two weeks ago.  I didn't know it at the time, but he had just taken a short term disability leave because of his health.  You would have never known it in his voice.  He never said a word, either.  We talked about mundane things, to tell you the truth I'm not sure what we talked about.  I can't hear on the phone very well and the kids were running around being loud.  I rushed him off the phone because I couldn't hear him and because I was uncomfortable that he might ask about the unsent letter that I was embarrassed that I didn't send.  It's not like I'm too busy to do it. 

 

Unfinished business...

 

You know, it's my goal to die with my "To Do" list completely crossed off.  What a foolish and impossible-to-attain goal.

 

I feel very small, and very sad right now.

 

 

I had a pretty little entry all written up... then I went and jinx'd it by not publishing or saving as a draft before I went to add photos, and lost the whole thing.

 

GRRR! 

 

I can't remember exactly what I wrote, but I did thank everyone for their kind and gentle comments when I felt down.  I'm not sure that I"ve ever felt lower as a mother as I have these past few days and I am finally back on the upswing.  Basically, I'm doing my best, I endeavor to do better all the time, my kids will remember and appreciate how hard I tried to be the best I could be when they become parents themselves... etc etc.

 

It really was a beautiful entry and I am bummed out that it is gone now.  Pppfffffttt.

 

I have been cleaning up my computer/craft room today (It SORELY needed it from the last time I attempted to "organize" (read: take everything out and make little piles all over the floor)...  I found a quote that I really like:

 

"Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others."  -Booker T. Washington

 

So there you have it, folks, the secret to happiness.  Go forth and use it wisely!  LOL

 

Love, Jen

Hi, all.

 

I haven't been able to face logging in and writing more since my last post.  I'm not taking news of Wes having to have surgery very well.  That afternoon we took Coco to the dentist for her 6 month cleaning and found out she has THREE cavities.  She's already had one that has been filled.  This is horrible! 

 

Shawn left a comment that it has been a blow to my "mom ego" and he is right, it has.  It has also been a wake up call.  I do quite a bit for my kids, but there are areas where I am sorely lacking and it is time to pick up the slack.

 

It's hard to face your shortcomings and that is where I am at right now.

 

Before I forget, two things:

 

Wes and the X-Ray machine:

He was afraid of it, but his little manly pride wouldn't let him show it.  I could tell he was scared because of how he was staying so close to me and wanting constant physical contact.  He was a trooper though, and after I told him that it was just a big camera that took special pictures he wasn't as leery of it being so close to his foot.  Plus, the x-ray took all of 2 seconds for each view (he had a side view and top view taken).  They needed them to show his foot in a "weight bearing" position, so I had to hold his other leg up, forcing him to balance on his club foot leg, it was a funny sight, him trying to hold on to me, stay as far away from the x-ray machine as possible, and me holding his left leg up, while trying not to lose balance.  The result was worth it: His bone is ossified and there are no structural deformities, which clears the way for the ATTT surgery.

 

The other, funnier, thing:

Knock Knock jokes have become a big thing at our house.  Colleen improvises them regularly, the punch line nearly always involves someone running away from home.

Wes decided it was high time he made up one of his own.  It goes like this:

 

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Wesley.

Wesley who?

Wesley "May-HAMM"

(dissolve in a fit of giggles)

 

He laughs so hard at it that anyone listening can't help but also laugh, which just reinforces his thinking he is hilarious.  LOL

 

What a cute kid!

 

Happy Wednesday!  -Jen

I took Wes to go see his orthopaedic surgeon this morning because his physical therapist and I strongly suspected that his foot has relapsed some as a result of his latest (and remarkable!) growth spurt.

 

In short, his foot has relapsed.  As far as relapses go, it is relatively minor, he still has good flexibility and when he stands still on his foot, it is nice and flat.

 

That's where the good news ends.  The type of relapse he has is called a Dynamic Supination Deformity and it is treated with an Anterior Tibialis Tendon Transfer surgery.  This is the ATTT surgery that I have mentioned before, the one we were trying to avoid.  As far as surgeries go, it is not a terribly difficult one.  I was given a 2 page handout with the 16 steps of the surgery, with photographs, that illustrates exactly how it is done. 

 

He had "radiographs" (ha ha!  x-rays!) that showed that his lateral cuneiform is ossified, and the doctor left up to us as to when we want to do the surgery, there is no rush.  We decided to wait until after his third birthday (May 17th).  Colleen's preschool lets out for the summer on May 16th, so after that we will be able to stay at home and let him recover at his own pace instead of hauling him in and out of the car 4-6 times a day. 

 

He will need to be in a cast from toes to groin for two weeks before the surgery, to stretch out the muscles of his foot.  Depending on how good a position the doctor can get his foot in for the first cast, he will either stay in one cast for the entire two weeks or he will be recasted after the first week.  The surgery does not take terribly long, but most kids are kept in the hospital overnight (it is not unheard of for them to be sent home the same day, but I am going to lobby for an overnight stay incase we run into pain issues).  It is a painful thing to go through.  We will manage his pain as best we can, but he is going to be at least uncomfortable while he recovers from it.  After the surgery he will be in a cast from toes to groin for 6 weeks to allow for healing and to ensure that his foot stays in the proper position.  The vast majority of kids that have this procedure do not need any form of bracing afterwards, but the doctor forewarned me that Wes could be an exception.  Evidently he has a stubborn foot to go right along with his stubborn personality!  I was afraid to ask what the next step would be if he relapsed after the ATTT surgery (I've read on the No Surgery For Clubfoot (Ponsetti method followers) message board where it has happened), I'll cross that bridge if/when we come to it.

 

I thought I had made my peace with this.  We've known that this was a possibility for quite a long time now, I'd say a year and a half or so.  I've NOT made my peace with it.  I am dissappointed that it has come to this.  Yes, I know this is minor.  I know that it will help him in the long term.  Dr Ponsetti himself told me that he would likely need it and that it wasn't a big deal if he did.  Doesn't stop me from wishing my little man didn't have to go through it.  Doesn't stop me from kicking myself HARD in the ass for not being more firm about bracing protocol (Dr says his foot would have probably relapsed anyways, it is a genetic tendency and every time he grows his foot is going to want to grow back into a clubbed position, but that's just words.  Just like telling me it's not my fault is just words.  I'm not sure I'm every going to deep-down believe those words, no matter what I might tell you).

 

I have to go for now, Coco is going to the dentist to have her 6 month cleaning and Shawn is going to the oral surgeon one floor above him to have his wisdom teeth sockets looked at.  Standard check up, but a good thing we are going because we think his bottom right may be infected.  Fun!

 

I need to write more about Wes and the x-ray machine.  I'll try to remember to sign in and do it later.

 

I've said that roses are cliche several times these past few days, both here, in comments to a blog buddy (Hi, Jaque!) and in surveys on MySpace.

 

I'm officially recanting.

 

This afternoon I received two dozen spectacular roses from Shawn for Valentine's Day.  We are celebrating today because he is having all 4 wisdom teeth removed tomorrow.

 

They are a variety that I have admired for a while now, a deep pink on the inside and nearly white on the outside of each petal.  They are beautiful and they have a lovely smell.

 

I am tickled pink that he did this.  Flowers are not a typical gift from him, so when I do get them it is a total surprise and treat every time.

 

YAY!  I got roses! 

 

I love you dear heart!  Happy Valentine's Day!

 

-Jen

 

PS: Here is a picture that I found on the internet, ignore the white roses.  I'll post pictures that I take of mine tomorrow, if I get around to it. 

 

PPS: YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!  :D

As seen on a pick up truck driving down the highway:

 

A huge Boston Red Socks round "bumper sticker" and...

 

A regular rectangular bumper sticker that says "Yankees Suck"

 

I thought that was funny, liking Boston Red Socks and hating people from the North.  I gleefully planned the blog I was going to write about it.

 

It wasn't until just now as I typed this entry that I realized that the Yankees Suck bumper sticker probably refers to the sports team specifically, not all northerners, generically.

 

Guess the joke's on me!

 

 

A couple of days ago, I was on craigslist, I'm not even sure why anymore.  I came across a posting that was a month old, for a set of dining room furniture in the Duncan Phyfe style.  It includes the double pedestal table with brass fittings on each of the 6 feet, 6 chairs (two of which are arm chairs), bowfront sideboard, and china cabinet.  The ad said that it had been in his family since the 1930s, which is consistent with my research, I've dated the bowfront sideboard to that time frame and per the ad, the furniture was bought as a set.

 

I am not sure why, but I was compelled to email the seller and ask if the set was still available.  Amazingly, it was.  He invited me to come and see the furniture in person.

 

So I talked to Shawn about it, his first instinct was to say that we didn't have the money for it (understandable, we were not planning on buying dining room furniture at this time).

 

I talked to my dad about it, my sister Diana, my mom.  I asked both Colleen and Wesley to pick hands (one was "get the furniture" and the other was "don't get it").  My mom was the only one that encouraged me to go for it.  (Thanks, Mom!  Love ya!)

 

I tortured myself for a good two days trying to talk myself out of wanting this set.  But the fact was, and remains, that furniture crafted in the Duncan Phyfe style has been my favorite (especially for the dining room) ever since I learned about it, years ago.  This set is my heart's desire and especially for the price, I can not stop thinking about it: imagining it in our house, dreaming of displaying my vintage Noritake china on the table and Japanese lusterware collection in the china cabinet.  There aren't many things that consume me like this.  And, while this set is priced only slightly under what I could likely get it for from another private owner (IF I could find another complete dining suite), it is far below what one would pay at an antique shop.  I found auctions on eBay for a set of six similar chairs alone for $300 more than the asking price of this set; and what was likely the exact same model of table for over $500 the asking price.  However, these are just justifications, made in a desperate bid to convince my mind to go for my heart's desire.

 

After watching me carry on like this, descending further and further into a bad mood as I berated myself for wanting something so frivolous and unplanned for, Shawn realized how much it meant to me.  He encouraged me to go see the set and if I still loved it and still had to have it, then we'd make it happen.  (You're the best Shawn.  Love ya!)

 

So... I've emailed the seller back and told him that I do want to see the set.  I asked if it would be ok if I took measurements to be sure that it will fit in the room I intend it for.  This is true, but it is also to help confirm that the pieces match the research I did as to their date of manufacture.  It also keeps me from giving an answer right away, while I'm caught up in the moment.  If I didn't create a time buffer between my visit and my answer to the seller, I'm sure I'd say that I'd take it even if I didn't think it was exactly perfect for me anymore, just to keep from hurting the seller's feelings or making him feel that I've wasted his time.  (Yes, I know this is not rational.  I'm not a rational person.)

 

Hopefully I will get to see it this week, or this weekend at the latest.  Luckily, the seller lives very close to us, which is convenient.  If we do decide to get it, we are going to have to rent a small U-Haul type truck to move it here, so that part will have to be done over a weekend, preferably the one coming up because Shawn can't do it the weekend after next.  Shawn is getting his wisdom teeth removed on Valentines Day and is going to be laid up that weekend. 

 

I've just re-read what I wrote and realized how silly of a post this is, going on and on about some old furniture that I want badly but can't seem to be decisive enough to go for it without getting the opinion of everyone around me.  But hey, if I ever do look back at these entries, this one will make me laugh for sure.  My follies consistently amuse me.

 

Want to see the pictures of the furniture?  Of course you do!  Here they are:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

 

-Mark Twain

 

Quoted in "Wealth Happens One Day At A Time" by Brooke M. Stephens.

 

I strive to be one of the "really great".